Thanks for all the replies, but nothing helped.  I forgot to mention
that I *have* already read the Apache CGI docs forwards, backwards,
inside-out, and side-to-side, and am already doing what they tell me to
do.  (And that I'm not a total amateur, and usually have a rough idea of
how to make Apache do what I want!)

Specifically:

"""
DocumentRoot /var/www
[...]

    Options +ExecCGI FollowSymLinks
    AddHandler cgi-script .cgi

    AllowOverride None

    Order allow,deny
    Allow from all

[...]
"""

(This is for Apache 1.3.28.)

$ ls -l /var/www/printenv.cgi
-rwxr-xr-x    1 greg     users          66 2003-11-03 21:26
/var/www/printenv.cgi
$ cat /var/www/printenv.cgi
#!/bin/sh
echo "Content-type: text/plain"
echo ""
printenv | sort
$ GET http://localhost/printenv.cgi
#!/bin/sh
echo "Content-type: text/plain"
echo ""
printenv | sort

D'ohh!  I wasn't expecting Apache to dump the source of the script -- I
want it to run the damn thing!  I know this Apache is capable of running
scripts -- If I put the same script in /usr/lib/cgi-bin/printenv.sh and
GET http://localhost/cgi-bin/printenv.sh, it works.

Anyways, this is pretty off-topic for quixote-users -- I'm just venting
my frustration.  I'm going to try my own Apache build and see if there's
something wrong with Debian's build or configuration.

Or maybe I should just use that nifty Quixote/Medusa stuff...

        Greg
--
Greg Ward                          http://www.gerg.ca/
Those of you who think you know everything really annoy those of us who do.